En Far Melankoli
Cold,
Late spring whetted with emotion
My small boy sleeping,
I hide the world for the time being
A lump wells in my throat,
The lies of my own childhood splitting chapped lips
Take me by the collar and pour me out,
The stammer of my recorded voice betrays me
His mother inadvertently shaming saints,
The snow tomorrow patient enough to wait today
I will hold the shadow of his ego in my hands until dawn,
Between beats my heart stops to sob
The hum and only the humming,
Apparitions, folk songs out of thin air
Nordic landscapes linger,
I cannot escape my dead relatives' dreams
The emotion of years hangs frozen,
I walk awake the night alone with the stars
Cover his slight frame with fleece,
May has forgotten her promise
In my mind I wake him,
We will listen together to Schumann before he becomes a man
I cry quietly exhaling condensation,
I too was once this small and smiling, fragile sun
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